A migraine is a very personal thing. The age at which they start, the symptoms and frequency – all vary from person to person. The impact of migraine on daily life however, is universally agreed upon by sufferers – your day comes to a stop. With mood changes and irritability scientifically part of a typical migraine (the happiness hormone serotonin is known to rise and then sharply drop prior to an attack) – it’s surely no surprise that intense levels of pain and frustration aren’t going to bring out the best in you. As a chronic sufferer, I am the first to admit that migrainey me, is not ‘normal’ me. Firstly, if I wake up with unshakable fatigue and in a foul mood, I usually know a migraine is coming. One of the weirder symptoms sure, but scientifically proven nonetheless. Then the pain kicks in, your day comes to a halt, and any plans are gone while your world keeps spinning without you.

This combination of events usually turns me from selfless (I hope) to selfish, as I make a beeline for the icepack and a dark room. It’s inevitable that spending endless days introverted in pain, will make you feel sad, lonely and resultantly depressed. And it’s no further shock that your loved ones can be driven away. For example – I no longer make plans. Fun ideas enter my head, friends names who I’d love to have a coffee with float through my mind – but I never act upon it. Why? Because I know I’ll end up bailing – and at age 24 no one likes a flake. My long suffering boyfriend and parents, now only see the worst of me. And it must be easy to become frustrated and deflated by the migraine monster that I become. I push away all those around me while in survival mode – which at the moment is around 25-30 days a month. I become furious with my situation, and usually end up crying in a dark room wishing for any and all relief. I’m unable to speak as I struggle to push aside the pain, and the small voice in my head is so desperate to be ‘normal’ that I often push through work or social events when really I should just admit defeat. But ‘defeat’ equals another day alone in bed, another period of loneliness. For me this stems from how sociable I have always been growing up, before the migraines took over – so it’s a clear distinction of now and then. Some people are happy to spend their Friday night alone – I am not.

As I write this, I’m on extended sick leave from my first ‘proper’ job, one that I took on when I ‘backed myself’ a little too much. I’m sad it seemingly hasn’t worked out and is beyond my control, and as I lie awake at night wondering what the reality of my future will hold I can’t help but be jealous of my friends who appear to me to have everything I wish for. Up until two years ago I was ambitious and driven, ready to take on the world one G+T and (underpaid) job at a time. And as my sister said to me – ‘ you should be living your best life’. It really doesn’t feel fair.

BUT, enough wallowing migraine friends! There must be a way to tackle the mental health impacts of migraine. Here’s a few of my tragically small, but simple steps I take when it’s all a little too much.

1. If you’re coming out the other side of a migraine and you feel up to it – see who’s free. Whether it’s making dinner for a friend/partner or watching love island with a pal, try and see someone. Too much time in your own mind is never good for your mood.
2. DOGS. Enough said. If you aren’t lucky enough to have a furry friend then check out borrowmydoggy. You’re welcome. Also cats I guess if you’re into that kinda thing.
3. Go for a walk to get a coffee. The fresh air can reset you, and the caffeine is proven to help painkillers work more effectively and can help headaches (unless caffeine is a trigger then de-caf/other hot beverage for you glen coco).
4. Therapy: say it with me. Ther-a-py. If I was PM I’d send everyone to therapy – but the point is don’t bottle up how utterly shit you may be feeling because you’ll only feel 100x worse. In my darkest migraine times I’ve often wondered what the effing point in it all is. CBT can work wonders in offering coping techniques and just addressing where your heads at. Chronic migraine is linked to depression, unsurprisingly. Harvard Medical School reported that a study presented at the American Academy of Neurology’s annual meeting found that migraineurs are 41 percent more likely to experience depression than those without migraines. So in all seriousness, check in with your GP and consider medication/talking therapy if you’re struggling.
5. Find a migraine buddy – someone who gets it, so probably someone who suffers with them themselves. My first boss had suffered chronic migraines in her 20s and was incredibly understanding when it came to taking time off or struggling with day to day tasks. Migraines are a battlefield, and you shouldn’t have to fight the good fight alone.
6. Take a hot shower/bath. I’m a firm believer in a ‘reset shower’. If you can manage it, stand under there until you feel semi-human again. Added points for scented shower gels such as lavender or peppermint which are known to relieve pain and stress.
7. Read success stories. Migraine forums can be helpful and supportive, but equally INSANELY depressing. I’ve been reduced to tears mid migraine by reading about ‘Susan from Seattle’ who has suffered for 10035 years with migraines every day. I’m on year 3 sooo this better not be it. Reading stories about people who’ve CONQUERED the migraine battle, is a source of much needed hope. While it can be dispiriting when others report a cure that didn’t work for you – it’s essential to keep the hope alive that you too will find your magic bullet. I recommend starting with a success story like this one.
8. Keep telling yourself that one day you will get your life back – no matter how little you believe it. This one may be hypocritical since I haven’t made plans since approx. 2017 BUT we have to believe that if modern science can give Kim K her unearthly booty, then it can bring you some relief eventually too.